SWCAMBORNE

Jim Manzi
In National Review 6/25/07

Greenwashing is a new word meaning to cover something with a patina of environmentalism.

Example: “Driving an SUV then buying carbon credits is greenwashing.”

Thanks to the Saturday WSJ for introducing us to this word.

Below is an email I got from Charter Communications in response to a email I sent them about the fact that they cut off my service. It is clear that they didn’t read my email and have no intention of trying to solve my problem via email. So why do they give that as an option on their web site.
Notice to Charter Communications (a bad cable monopoly): If you want customers, respond to their needs. Unfortunately monopolies don’t have to respond to consumers because their customer is the monopoly license issuer.
My original email:

We switched from Champion to Charter when Champion was sold to Charter in August 2007. At that time we had a credit of $104.32 with Champion. When that amount appeared as past due on our September bill my wife spoke to Linda in your customer service and she said to pay the bill short that amount. We paid the bill on 10/29/07. This morning our cable and internet service were turned off. When I called customer service a very nice man said it was because we were past due and after I explained the situation he confirmed the story and turned it back on. I told him I wanted to speak to a supervisor. This evening I had a call from a “call center” operator Teri Johnson and her supervisor Roy telling me that my bill was past due. They wanted me to call customer service and get it straightened out. We have tried to straighten it out. You folks need to straighten it out. If I don’t hear from you tomorrow morning I am going to switch to dish network and you will lose a $2000 a year account. I need: 1. An apology for cutting off my service. 2. A credit for for all of the aggravation you have caused us. 3. An assurance from someone in management that somebody is working on solving your serious systems problems. I hope to hear from you.

Simon Burrow

Excerpts from Charters Response:

Dear Simon Burrow,

Thank you for contacting Charter Communications, my name is Melvin. I do apologize for the inconvenience you are experiencing. I understand that you are having problem regarding your bill, and you want your charges to be adjusted. I would be glad to assist you in the best manner as possible with your concern.

However, your concern needs a thorough review on your account and for security purposes, we cannot discuss your account through mail. I am advising you to please chat us live at www.charter.com or call us at 1-888-438-2427 so we can assist you right away. Please understand that we value the confidentiality of your account. This number is available 24-hours a day, 7-days a week.

If you have additional question, please let me know.

I would also like to encourage you to visit our website, www.charter.com for further information and assistance regarding any of your services.There are self-help options available for you there.

I would like to inform you that we offer Wire Maintenance for a low monthly fee. …..

Thank you for your e-mail submission to our website! Have a wonderful day!

Sincerely,
Melvin
Charter E-mail Support Team

A new word meaning “man purse”

Thanks to Kelsy P. for this new and useful word.

If you have actually used your laptop on your lap you need this product.

It is so simple that it is amazing that it hasn’t been invented yet.  A small flat insulator that keeps your legs from getting warm.

Laptops get warm.  In fact they get uncomfortably warm. This small cushion insulated with space age materials, kevlar and polypropylene will keep the heat off your lap. it has a soft terry cloth cover for comfort. Less than 1/4 inch thick but with a heat transfer coefficient of less than .103 your legs don’t sweat. It also has an ingenious slot for packing your laptop in to give it more cushion in your backpack or briefcase.

The laptop cushion is an inexpensive solution to one of the worlds minor problems.  It might be an excellent give away for a tech firm that targets their products to road warriors.  Like Intel, IBM or Apple.

I’m working on the Basic Theory of Faucets and Happiness.

So far it states “How happy you are is inversely proportional to the number of water valves in your direct control.”

This is because the number of water valves in your life is a fairly good analog of the complexity of your life.” Water valves have about a ten year life. If you a responsible for twenty valves you will have to fix two per year.

Sprinkler valves might count double.

Sprinkler heads all add to the total count.

Water features, pools and ponds all add to the total.

How can you decrease your water valve count and therefore increase your happiness? Perhaps by getting them out of your direct control. But this then gets you into the household help corollary to the basic theory.

Life is complicated.